In which age catches up with me

I recently happened to look at the floor in my cubicle. My normal head position is of course looking straight (at the monitor) or more often looking upwards (not looking exactly, because my eyes are likely to be shut and mouth open), but this once, something made me look below, and at once I knew that I’d never done it before, because what I saw frightened me so much, I nearly screamed.

The imaginative mind may picture a pool of blood, a puppy (ok,I’m afraid of dogs, and puppies ARE dogs) or something similarly scary.  But I saw something so frightening, it seemed to transcend time. A sight that showed me a bleak and scary future. That told me that my time as a ‘youngster’ was officially over. On the floor lay so much hair, as I’d never seen outside a saloon.

A cursory examination that evening immediately revealed that the hair was falling too fast to be replaced.  This was the first time I noticed that I’d apparently been on autumn shedding mode for a very long time. And spring didnt look like it was coming in this lifetime.

Needless to say this has all been very depressing. Although I always knew that I’ld turn into a bald middle aged man sometime (all men do, right?), I thought it wouldnt happen till years later. After years of engineering, just when I was finally looking to get a life, fate has already ordered me to draw my bucket list. That long postponed vaccation to Europe is topmost on the list now. If I’m going to the place, I cant return looking like a skinhead in the photos. Also, need to do lots of other stuff, and have enough photos taken to put up on Facebook and Orkut for the next few years ( by which time hopefully people’ll be over them. The sites that is, not the photos). 

If you think I’m making a fuss over nothing, you have no idea how it feels. To wake up and look at your pillow. A white pillow cover should never have a salt and pepper look. To be worried that a hearty laugh might knock off a couple of more hairs. Heck, I see hair on the  wash basin every morning after brushing my teeth. Its like the force of gravity is too much for my hair to handle. 

You may have of course noticed that my analysis of almost anything, tends to include the ‘girls’ angle, something conspicuous by its absence here. This is because for once, I have bright views on the subject. This post might have a dark mood, but I will end it on something of a cheery note. Know how I keep fretting about my poor run of luck with the fairer sex? Well for once I am grateful. With the few hairs that I have left clinging on for dear life, the last thing I need is someone running their hands through my hair. And with that, I’ll leave you to shed a tear for my optimism in this trying time.

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5 Responses to In which age catches up with me

  1. srikanth says:

    I’ll close the section for you with this: (Imagine a close up of one of you hairs falling in ultra slow motion when you read it)

    ” I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die. First of all, that one second isn’t a second at all, it stretches on forever, like an ocean of time… For me, it was lying on my back at Boy Scout camp, watching falling stars… And yellow leaves, from the maple trees, that lined my street… Or my grandmother’s hands, and the way her skin seemed like paper… And the first time I saw my cousin Tony’s brand new Firebird… And Janie… And Janie… And… Carolyn. I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me… but it’s hard to stay mad, when there’s so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I’m seeing it all at once, and it’s too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that’s about to burst… And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can’t feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life… You have no idea what I’m talking about, I’m sure. But don’t worry… you will someday. ”

    What’s with the elegy dude? Or may be I’ll feel it someday.

    Darwin was right afterall…

  2. Sudharsan says:

    @Srik

    American beauty eh? Hmm, pretty apt. And yes you will feel it someday (No malice here, just melancholic acceptance 🙂 )

  3. blogjamun says:

    Your blog has brought about a change in me. Now I’ll think twice before I mock/ comment on a bald middle-aged guy…..

  4. Sudharsan says:

    @Jamun

    Oh no, forgot that would eventually start as well… Sigh!

  5. sind says:

    i wish i had seen the 2 beautiful huge labs adjacent to subway gallop towards you! and yes..you would have shed more hair!! 🙂

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